Standing up

I rarely bother to make New Year's resolutions because I view them as the sort of thing most people disregard after a few weeks at most. Instead, I have a identified a couple of goals that I believe are important to advancing my mental health this year (and into the future). As such, they are less the sort of things that typically qualify as resolutions and more as changes to my approach to life. I have two goals for change in my life that I have so far identified, which I think are just good rules for living in general.

1) Stand up for what you believe in. I think a lot of the time, I tend to avoid confrontation, and this leads me to keep my mouth shut when I encounter people that I believe are "talking shit". I sometimes even avoid or leave a discussion because I don't want to upset someone by disagreeing with them or I worry that they will dislike me if we disagree. I have recently realized that this approach causes me to compromise my personal integrity by not standing up for what I believe in. This doesn't mean not respecting the beliefs of others, unless of course they are belligerent about said beliefs. I most often avoid confrontation withing my own family, but no more. I will not stand by as young minds are molded (or warped) by views I strongly disagree with. I will no longer allow racist and/or homophobic remarks go unchallenged because it's 'just not worth arguing'. I believe it's always worth standing up for what you believe in.

2) Put your money where your mouth is. I think that if you are strongly against the attitudes or beliefs of an organization or business but continue to patronize or support that business, you are supporting those beliefs or attitudes indirectly. As an example, if I disagree with the politics of a company, I cannot in good faith patronize that business without compromising my own principles. One particular example I can think of is a business that I believe is exclusionary of a group of people because of how it views that group (which is inaccurate, by the way). I don't support that exclusionary attitude and think it's misguided, so I cannot support that business without supporting that attitude.

I think these two goals basically translate to the following: be yourself. When this is the case, you don't worry about what others think of you, because you know you are being true to yourself. It doesn't mean everyone that knows you will agree with you, but at least they know where you stand. It is any given person's choice whether or not to accept you for who you are, but it is your choice how you present yourself to others. I choose to present myself honestly and openly, even as my opinions and beliefs evolve over time.

I know this will be difficult for me at times, as it goes against my nature in many ways. However, in the end, it's worth pissing a few people off if it means I can look at myself in the mirror and not be ashamed.

Do Not Read This

If you are averse to political discussion, do not read this. If you are sensitive the expression of strong opinions, do not read this. If you are looking for a fight to pick, do not read this.

Now that you have been forewarned, let me just give a little background to this post. Last night on Twitter, someone accused me of being ignorant because I said people that didn't vote the way I voted were stupid.  First of all, I did not say this. What I said was that people that voted a certain way were being short-sighted, small-minded, and selfish. I stand by this statement, but the argument that ensued was completely pointless as it evolved into name calling by the other party (who voted the same way as I did, for the record). This is when I had to exit the discussion, although it affected me deeply, and made me think about it all night long.

I am of the belief that online debates are ridiculous. I think rational discussion can quickly turn ugly online because it is too easy to say things one would never say face-to-face. Hiding behind an online persona somehow brings out the worst in people. People are often very unlike their online personality in person. So here are a couple rules of thumb: 1) If you don't have the balls to say something rude to my face, STFU.  2) If you don't know me at all and start making assumptions about me and calling me names, STFU.  That said, I am guilty of letting myself be drawn into such discussions frequently. I should know better.

The whole discussion over my opinions really came to a head because I said that people who vote Republican tend to be selfish and short-sighted and care only about themselves and preserving their own power.  I still stand by these statements, and I won't apologize for my opinions. I said this because I believe if I were to vote solely based on how a candidate's policies would affect me personally, I would probably vote Republican. I have great health insurance, and my husband and I have great jobs and good job security. It's highly probable that we will end up paying higher taxes in the future to support current policies. I am not gay, and I have no kids, and so I am not directly affected by quality of education.

However, I don't not think this way. I believe Americans have a right to health care. I believe we have a moral obligation to help the less fortunate.  I believe in equal rights and equal treatment for everyone.  I am willing to pay taxes to support all of the services I receive through local and state government, even if this means I have to pay higher taxes personally. I believe in the value of personal sacrifice to support the greater good. If I were a lower animal that only responded in a way that propagated my own genes and only cared about myself, none of these tbeliefs would hold true. But as humans, we have the ability to think beyond our own immediate needs and wants to those of future generations and others unrelated to ourselves. I, for one, would like to get to the end of my life knowing I did something that made a positive impact on other people, even if it meant sacrificing my own desires. I know I am not alone in this.