Flighty or obsessive?

I have known for a long time that my husband and I have very different personalities. He tends toward obsessiveness over a particular activity or interest (at least for some period of time), whereas I fall at the opposite extreme. Call it flighty, but I like to think of it as dabbling. It's exciting to try new things, but I rarely want to actually commit to anything beyond doing it very casually, usually once or twice.

I've always been this way, but I'm just noticing how strong and pervasive this tendency is in my life. I've started to grow more and more non-committal as I realize how many times I've invested a lot of time and money in some new activity, only to lose interest shortly after I've made that investment. This is why I'm not a good sports fan. I am almost incapable of becoming obsessed with a particular team or sport, even though I enjoy seeing a match or game or whatever, every so often. It's why I never pursued roller derby more than I did and why I don't go online to watch bouts all the time. It's why, when I reached the top of Mt. St. Helens, my first thought was not to find another mountain to climb (as it probably was for my husband). Rather, I thought, "that was really cool, and I'm glad I did it, but I do not feel the need to ever do that again".

That pattern is evident in my work life as well. I was never going to be a great dedicated scientist that developed a research interest that I pursued for the rest of my life. In my last position, I was always anxious to get done with whatever project I was working on to move on to something else. My current position suits me much better, because I am able to move from project to project and not spend too much time focused on one activity.

In fact, the more I look at my life, the more aspects it seems to affect. It would be rather alarming, I suppose, if it didn't provide some comfort in explaining much of my behavior.

Our extreme differences in personality might seem to make it hard for my husband and I to get along. To the contrary, as long as we understand each other, I think it works out better. If we were both obsessive, it would likely be about different things, and that would be a major problem. This way, as long as we acknowledge that we don't have to always share interests, it works just fine.

The pros and cons of seeing the pros and cons

I admit freely that I am a nerd. I have very strong analytical tendencies, which have come in handy and made me very good at math and science. I know lots of other people with similar tendencies, which got me thinking over the last few days about both the positive and negative aspects of analyzing everything, almost compulsively.

Here is my take on some of the pros and cons of being such an analytical person:

Pros:
1) I'll never waste money gambling or playing the lottery, because I know how tiny the probability of coming out ahead over time actually is.

2) I'm very good at organizing things, which means that I actually enjoy keeping things clean and tidy (although I don't always make the effort).

3) I'm very financially responsible and good at saving, because I think about all the negative and positive effects of spending money on something.

4) I'm good at problem-solving and a complicated challenge excites me, even if I can't always carry out the solution to the problem.

Cons:
1) I overanalyze every interaction I have, often making interpretations that aren't warranted.

2) If I do happen to act on an impulse, and the outcome is not as hoped, I can't let go of my lapse in judgment for a very long time.

3) I avoid committing fully to creative activities and individual sports, because I am too much of a perfectionist to really enjoy the learning process for very long. 

4) I have no idea how to truly relax, because I am always thinking about what I could be getting done or new places I could be visiting.

I'm sure there are many more in each category, but these are the ones that strike me now.  Just the fact that I made a pros and cons list must be a sign of my nerdiness. I'm sure I'm not alone in this personality trait, but it often feels like it when I start to believe no one else thinks like I do.