The BCS football game has brought out some very ugly and disturbing feelings in me this week that surprised even me. It wasn't the outcome of the game, really. I'm not really into football, and I'm not a true Duck fan quite yet. However, I did root strongly against Auburn, based on principle. What principle, you may ask? I view Auburn as representative of the American South, and I will never support any team or school or pretty much anything else from that region.
I grew up in the south, outside of Atlanta, to be specific. I spent my formative years there, moving there from Cincinnati at age 4 and getting the hell out at 17. I was very lucky that my parents could afford to send me to college by the time I finished high school (the only one of 4 that went) and that they were Ohioans by birth, so they were willing to send me to Ohio State. I was anxious even then to get out of the south. I left for school near the end of my 17th year, and, except for summers and breaks, I never returned.
For me, it's not just that racism is still rampant there and everywhere else in the south. It's not just that politics are ultraconservative there and go against the values I hold so dear. It's not just that the religious right is prevalent, judgmental, and unforgiving there. It's not just that being passive-aggressive is an accepted approach to others there. No, those things are all very important in forming my opinions about the South, but they pale in comparison to traumatic events that occurred during my childhood there. It doesn't matter what those events were, really. It only matters that they are linked forever in my heart to my life there and my view of that part of the country.
I have two good friends, two brothers, a sister, and parents still living there, and if not for some of those people, I probably wouldn't visit there at all. It leaves me feeling that much disgust, that I would be willing to write certain people out of my life to be able to avoid going there.
Is that an irrational way to think of an entire region? Perhaps. However, I think it might just be my way of protecting myself in the long term. It's not like I don't remember my past, but I don't need to relive it by having to be exposed to the sources of painful memories.
So there it is. Yes, I was a bit unreasonable in my disgust for Oregonians that would stoop so low as to support Auburn, but there is an underlying reason. And I have to say I think it's a better reason that those people had for supporting that team.
I totally agree that the rest of the country often forgets, and almost accepts and promotes, the backwards nature that you will still find in a lot of the South. However, as someone who lived there recently (10 years before moving to Cincinnati), I will say that there are a lot of good people, good schools, and good things in the South that are trying to change that.
ReplyDeleteI'm a white girl who married a "big, scary black man" while living in Kentucky, and I certainly saw my share of both passive and aggressive racism, as well as other general ignorance. At the same time, I was blessed to study somewhere like Berea College. Loosely non-denominational "Christian" in its foundation, Berea was one of the first schools to co-educate the races (and genders, really) in the South, as well as a place to educate "poor Appalachians." What I found on campus was a refreshing blending of different races, ethnicities, nationalities, sexual preferences, backgrounds, and stories. I also learned a lot about Appalachian history and gained a better understanding for why the South is the way it is, even still. Berea was really where my faith in humanity was restored, and I try to think of what I learned and how I felt there when the world gets too crazy and tests me. I'm not super religious towards any sect, but I do know that practicing love for all people, the way Berea reminded me to, just has to be right. At least, it feels right and better than any other option. It's a tiny bright light, part of many I have seen and heard of, in a part of our country that still struggles a great deal.
And really, the South isn't much different than other parts of our country. Everywhere has it's problems that need work (think about this week in Arizona), and I have seen vapid ignorance towards black people, Hispanic people, Asian people, poor people, women, and so on across our nation. So, for myself, I choose to focus on the good going on places and think about ways to fix that bad.
I appreciate your perspective. And what you found in Berea is what I've found in Oregon, unlike any other place I've lived. I suspect that finding those small havens elsewhere make it that much harder each time I return to my childhood home to find attitudes haven't changed, either in my family or in the general public there. In fact, I think they've gotten more extreme in the last decade, and that just scares me to think that my nephews and nieces might ever think that it normal.
ReplyDeleteThe attitudes in the south may occur elsewhere, but I don't think they are quite as accepted as 'normal' anywhere else as they are there.
My sister lived in Georgia and I lived in North Carolina for damn near a decade, and your blog just reminded me what I DON'T miss about living there. I'm feeling much better here in Oregon, this state wears well on my skin. Well written blog, btw!
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