Addiction seems to run in my family. In one of my brothers, it took the form of a teenage alcoholic who was forced to recover or die by the time he was 25. Sometimes I believe it takes the form of worrying in my mother. I won't even mention what it is for my dad, because I try not to think of him as a dirty old man. ;)
For me, it has taken many forms, though never alcohol. I believe I was too scarred by my brother at a young age with the damage he did to our family to really go in that direction. I am very conscious of it even now, in fact, because I am aware of that nature in myself and how easily I could end up there. Currently, I believe I am addicted to the endorphins I get from exercise. I have found, especially lately, that the rush I get from doing Crossfit, strenuous hiking, biking, or (hopefully soon) skating is what gets me through the day. When I don't get much exercise for a number of days, I can feel it in mood changes and an anxious feeling I get in the pit of my stomach. This feeling only seems to be relieved by intense exercise.
This whole addiction idea is a little difficult for me to understand in myself in particular because I also have tendencies of being non-committal. I never get REALLY into anything fully and completely. I think I don't have the attention span to become completely fascinated with any one activity. I guess this is why I really didn't flourish with roller derby as the only activity in my life. I felt like it required too much commitment, and in reality, I think I prefer to spread myself a little more across many interests. So for now, I will continue to feed my addiction through as many outlets as possible and be satisfied that at least this particular addiction should add to my lifespan rather than detract from it.
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