Every month local Twitter folks try to meet up somewhere for an evening of eating, drinking, and laughs. I will say that these people mean a lot to me, because they form my base of friends since I moved to Salem a little over a year ago. I am blessed to know every one of them, and many of them have drastically changed my life for the better.
It also happens to be my 40th birthday coming up very quickly. I rarely pay attention to which year I'm at, but since so much has happened to me in the last year or so, I feel like this is significant for me.
Soooo, because the holidays and this important birthday coincide for me somewhat, I am offering up my home for a combination tweetup and birthday party on Friday, December 10th. Of course all my Twitter friends (both local and further away, if they are willing to join us) are invited, but I am also opening up the party to others that I know that aren't on Twitter, as well as guests of invitees. This is a little different only because tweetups are usually limited (just by design not to be exclusionary) to Twitter folk.
Anyway, this one is for everyone I call a friend. I will provide snacks, including Cincinnati-style chili, and mixers. I just ask you to bring your favorite drink, which could include beer, wine, or infused liquor (!). I will have non-alcoholic beverages available, although if you have something special you prefer, you might want to ask ahead or bring it. Most importantly, bring yourselves!
Follow this link to an evite invitation, and contact me through DM or email to get directions. I really hope to see some new faces at this party, if anyone that hasn't attended is interested/willing to come by. We'll start around 7 and go until the last person passes out or leaves.
Please note, I've never used evite before, so I'm not sure how to add people whose email addresses I didn't have. Any help is appreciated. If you just want to leave a comment or DM me, that'll work as well.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Just who do I think I am?
Sometimes, I wonder how I could possibly still be trying to figure out just who I am and where I fit in at my age. I mean, shouldn't I know myself pretty well at almost 40? What kind of person doesn't get things figured out by mid-life?
Well, whatever kind of person I am, I suppose. Perhaps I'm just way too analytical for my own good. In a way, I think I want to put a label on myself, against my own better judgment. For as long as I can remember, I have felt like somewhat of a blacksheep. When I was a kid, I was intensely shy and wasn't good at making new friends. When I met someone I got along with, I tended to hang onto them as long as I could because that was easier than making new friends. What usually ensued was that, eventually, I would find myself hanging out with people I had little in common with. I would try desperately to fit into the group for awhile, until it became overtly obvious I was not one of them.
I usually feel like I am at the fringes of any group of people I end up aligning myself with, and sometimes that bothers me a little bit. The up side is that I tend to fall on the fringes of many groups, which broadens my exposure to people with a variety of backgrounds. If I associated it with a statistical concept (and of course I do, because I'm that kind of nerd), I would be a point that doesn't fit well into any cluster. I'm kinda out there on my own. Which isn't such a bad thing, now that I think about it. I mean, I am not easily labeled, and that's a good thing, right? If that means that people have to spend more time to get to know me, then all the better. Hopefully the effort turns out to be worth it in the end.
The point is, I find myself about to turn 40 and still kind of evolving, still not fully knowing who I am. And although it causes me distress at times, when I just want to fit in somewhere and know where that is, I am coming to peace with the situation. The idea of always changing as I age and my experience pool expands is actually very comforting. It means I am not really supposed to have things figured out because that's half the fun of life.
Going through this also makes me realize that everyone else likely goes through what I'm going through, to varying degrees. That is also a comforting thought, because I think we often feel alone in our struggles, failing to recognize they are more universal than they seem.
Well, whatever kind of person I am, I suppose. Perhaps I'm just way too analytical for my own good. In a way, I think I want to put a label on myself, against my own better judgment. For as long as I can remember, I have felt like somewhat of a blacksheep. When I was a kid, I was intensely shy and wasn't good at making new friends. When I met someone I got along with, I tended to hang onto them as long as I could because that was easier than making new friends. What usually ensued was that, eventually, I would find myself hanging out with people I had little in common with. I would try desperately to fit into the group for awhile, until it became overtly obvious I was not one of them.
I usually feel like I am at the fringes of any group of people I end up aligning myself with, and sometimes that bothers me a little bit. The up side is that I tend to fall on the fringes of many groups, which broadens my exposure to people with a variety of backgrounds. If I associated it with a statistical concept (and of course I do, because I'm that kind of nerd), I would be a point that doesn't fit well into any cluster. I'm kinda out there on my own. Which isn't such a bad thing, now that I think about it. I mean, I am not easily labeled, and that's a good thing, right? If that means that people have to spend more time to get to know me, then all the better. Hopefully the effort turns out to be worth it in the end.
The point is, I find myself about to turn 40 and still kind of evolving, still not fully knowing who I am. And although it causes me distress at times, when I just want to fit in somewhere and know where that is, I am coming to peace with the situation. The idea of always changing as I age and my experience pool expands is actually very comforting. It means I am not really supposed to have things figured out because that's half the fun of life.
Going through this also makes me realize that everyone else likely goes through what I'm going through, to varying degrees. That is also a comforting thought, because I think we often feel alone in our struggles, failing to recognize they are more universal than they seem.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Do Not Read This
If you are averse to political discussion, do not read this. If you are sensitive the expression of strong opinions, do not read this. If you are looking for a fight to pick, do not read this.
Now that you have been forewarned, let me just give a little background to this post. Last night on Twitter, someone accused me of being ignorant because I said people that didn't vote the way I voted were stupid. First of all, I did not say this. What I said was that people that voted a certain way were being short-sighted, small-minded, and selfish. I stand by this statement, but the argument that ensued was completely pointless as it evolved into name calling by the other party (who voted the same way as I did, for the record). This is when I had to exit the discussion, although it affected me deeply, and made me think about it all night long.
I am of the belief that online debates are ridiculous. I think rational discussion can quickly turn ugly online because it is too easy to say things one would never say face-to-face. Hiding behind an online persona somehow brings out the worst in people. People are often very unlike their online personality in person. So here are a couple rules of thumb: 1) If you don't have the balls to say something rude to my face, STFU. 2) If you don't know me at all and start making assumptions about me and calling me names, STFU. That said, I am guilty of letting myself be drawn into such discussions frequently. I should know better.
The whole discussion over my opinions really came to a head because I said that people who vote Republican tend to be selfish and short-sighted and care only about themselves and preserving their own power. I still stand by these statements, and I won't apologize for my opinions. I said this because I believe if I were to vote solely based on how a candidate's policies would affect me personally, I would probably vote Republican. I have great health insurance, and my husband and I have great jobs and good job security. It's highly probable that we will end up paying higher taxes in the future to support current policies. I am not gay, and I have no kids, and so I am not directly affected by quality of education.
However, I don't not think this way. I believe Americans have a right to health care. I believe we have a moral obligation to help the less fortunate. I believe in equal rights and equal treatment for everyone. I am willing to pay taxes to support all of the services I receive through local and state government, even if this means I have to pay higher taxes personally. I believe in the value of personal sacrifice to support the greater good. If I were a lower animal that only responded in a way that propagated my own genes and only cared about myself, none of these tbeliefs would hold true. But as humans, we have the ability to think beyond our own immediate needs and wants to those of future generations and others unrelated to ourselves. I, for one, would like to get to the end of my life knowing I did something that made a positive impact on other people, even if it meant sacrificing my own desires. I know I am not alone in this.
Now that you have been forewarned, let me just give a little background to this post. Last night on Twitter, someone accused me of being ignorant because I said people that didn't vote the way I voted were stupid. First of all, I did not say this. What I said was that people that voted a certain way were being short-sighted, small-minded, and selfish. I stand by this statement, but the argument that ensued was completely pointless as it evolved into name calling by the other party (who voted the same way as I did, for the record). This is when I had to exit the discussion, although it affected me deeply, and made me think about it all night long.
I am of the belief that online debates are ridiculous. I think rational discussion can quickly turn ugly online because it is too easy to say things one would never say face-to-face. Hiding behind an online persona somehow brings out the worst in people. People are often very unlike their online personality in person. So here are a couple rules of thumb: 1) If you don't have the balls to say something rude to my face, STFU. 2) If you don't know me at all and start making assumptions about me and calling me names, STFU. That said, I am guilty of letting myself be drawn into such discussions frequently. I should know better.
The whole discussion over my opinions really came to a head because I said that people who vote Republican tend to be selfish and short-sighted and care only about themselves and preserving their own power. I still stand by these statements, and I won't apologize for my opinions. I said this because I believe if I were to vote solely based on how a candidate's policies would affect me personally, I would probably vote Republican. I have great health insurance, and my husband and I have great jobs and good job security. It's highly probable that we will end up paying higher taxes in the future to support current policies. I am not gay, and I have no kids, and so I am not directly affected by quality of education.
However, I don't not think this way. I believe Americans have a right to health care. I believe we have a moral obligation to help the less fortunate. I believe in equal rights and equal treatment for everyone. I am willing to pay taxes to support all of the services I receive through local and state government, even if this means I have to pay higher taxes personally. I believe in the value of personal sacrifice to support the greater good. If I were a lower animal that only responded in a way that propagated my own genes and only cared about myself, none of these tbeliefs would hold true. But as humans, we have the ability to think beyond our own immediate needs and wants to those of future generations and others unrelated to ourselves. I, for one, would like to get to the end of my life knowing I did something that made a positive impact on other people, even if it meant sacrificing my own desires. I know I am not alone in this.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Life after the first year
I'm thinking over my first year in Salem, Oregon, which is my first year in the Pacific Northwest and my first year in the West, period. A lot has changed over the last 12 months, and I am just finally starting to feel at home again.
We arrived in Salem on October 21, 2009. I was really sad about leaving everything and everyone I knew behind. It all felt so final. To make matters worse, I spent the first 3 months in Salem working from home at my job in Cincinnati. This just perpetuated the feelings of loss for me. I didn't really meet many people, stuck at home all day. I joined the roller derby league so I could meet people, and I did, but I didn't form many real, lasting friendships. I actually believe that part of that was my fault because I wasn't ready to accept my new home yet.
I really stagnated for a long time, and what finally changed things for me was Twitter. I know to some that sounds ridiculous, but Salem has a relatively small community on Twitter, and as they started getting together more frequently, I met some really great people, many of whom I am happy to call friends now. Most of my social activities now tend to be with these people, and that social interaction has completely changed my life and my outlook. Through those people and certain others I met through roller derby, I am meeting other people, and I finally feel like I am a part of this small city. I am slowly building connections to people in Portland as well, though it's harder to socialize with people 50 miles away. I keep trying, because I feel some kinship with these folks as well, even if they are a very different crowd than those in Salem.
If you had asked me a year ago if I could ever feel so at home here, I would have said there was no hope. It seemed impossible at the time, but I have come full circle. I am so thankful for all the people now in my life, those in person and those that I currently only know online. They have made all the difference in the world for me in my transition to this new chapter in my life.
I still miss and love my friends in Cincinnati, but I am finally in a place where I can really appreciate both old and new people in my life and be truly happy about it.
We arrived in Salem on October 21, 2009. I was really sad about leaving everything and everyone I knew behind. It all felt so final. To make matters worse, I spent the first 3 months in Salem working from home at my job in Cincinnati. This just perpetuated the feelings of loss for me. I didn't really meet many people, stuck at home all day. I joined the roller derby league so I could meet people, and I did, but I didn't form many real, lasting friendships. I actually believe that part of that was my fault because I wasn't ready to accept my new home yet.
I really stagnated for a long time, and what finally changed things for me was Twitter. I know to some that sounds ridiculous, but Salem has a relatively small community on Twitter, and as they started getting together more frequently, I met some really great people, many of whom I am happy to call friends now. Most of my social activities now tend to be with these people, and that social interaction has completely changed my life and my outlook. Through those people and certain others I met through roller derby, I am meeting other people, and I finally feel like I am a part of this small city. I am slowly building connections to people in Portland as well, though it's harder to socialize with people 50 miles away. I keep trying, because I feel some kinship with these folks as well, even if they are a very different crowd than those in Salem.
If you had asked me a year ago if I could ever feel so at home here, I would have said there was no hope. It seemed impossible at the time, but I have come full circle. I am so thankful for all the people now in my life, those in person and those that I currently only know online. They have made all the difference in the world for me in my transition to this new chapter in my life.
I still miss and love my friends in Cincinnati, but I am finally in a place where I can really appreciate both old and new people in my life and be truly happy about it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)