The BCS football game has brought out some very ugly and disturbing feelings in me this week that surprised even me. It wasn't the outcome of the game, really. I'm not really into football, and I'm not a true Duck fan quite yet. However, I did root strongly against Auburn, based on principle. What principle, you may ask? I view Auburn as representative of the American South, and I will never support any team or school or pretty much anything else from that region.
I grew up in the south, outside of Atlanta, to be specific. I spent my formative years there, moving there from Cincinnati at age 4 and getting the hell out at 17. I was very lucky that my parents could afford to send me to college by the time I finished high school (the only one of 4 that went) and that they were Ohioans by birth, so they were willing to send me to Ohio State. I was anxious even then to get out of the south. I left for school near the end of my 17th year, and, except for summers and breaks, I never returned.
For me, it's not just that racism is still rampant there and everywhere else in the south. It's not just that politics are ultraconservative there and go against the values I hold so dear. It's not just that the religious right is prevalent, judgmental, and unforgiving there. It's not just that being passive-aggressive is an accepted approach to others there. No, those things are all very important in forming my opinions about the South, but they pale in comparison to traumatic events that occurred during my childhood there. It doesn't matter what those events were, really. It only matters that they are linked forever in my heart to my life there and my view of that part of the country.
I have two good friends, two brothers, a sister, and parents still living there, and if not for some of those people, I probably wouldn't visit there at all. It leaves me feeling that much disgust, that I would be willing to write certain people out of my life to be able to avoid going there.
Is that an irrational way to think of an entire region? Perhaps. However, I think it might just be my way of protecting myself in the long term. It's not like I don't remember my past, but I don't need to relive it by having to be exposed to the sources of painful memories.
So there it is. Yes, I was a bit unreasonable in my disgust for Oregonians that would stoop so low as to support Auburn, but there is an underlying reason. And I have to say I think it's a better reason that those people had for supporting that team.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Stop yer bitchin' and do something!
Admit it, we're all guilty of it. It's way too easy to sit back and bitch about things we don't like about the way the world works. The problem is that, too often, that's all we do: complain. Some of us spend a lot more time bitching and moaning about how bad this or that group is, but we often fail to get off our asses and do anything to change it.
To me, sitting around tweeting or blogging or otherwise voicing your opinions is really pointless if you don't back those words up with actions. By that, I do not mean go shoot people because you disagree with them, like the imbecile this weekend did and like some politicians seem to advocate. This is an immature, inappropriate, and wholly unproductive response, even to people that have ridiculous points of view. No, I mean putting your money where your mouth is, so to speak. If you believe in something and have the time to write about your beliefs, you have time to put them in action. I think the smallest actions make the biggest difference. If I could profoundly affect the outcome for a single person by my actions, I would choose that anyday over making some large statement that wouldn't really impact any one person in a meaningful way.
I'm not saying I am not guilty of what I am complaining about. We all are, to some degree. What I'm advocating is getting of our collective asses and doing something for someone else that will truly change their life. There are innumerable ways to support a cause or set of beliefs in a very concrete way. Mentor a child, clean up at a park, volunteer to serve meals to the homeless...the possibilities are really endless when you think about it.
I'm sick of rhetoric. It's pointless, and it doesn't benefit anyone except the egos of the self-serving people that spew it, in my opinion. I think, if all you want to do is complain but do nothing to change the situation, you need to shut the fuck up (pardon my French).
To me, sitting around tweeting or blogging or otherwise voicing your opinions is really pointless if you don't back those words up with actions. By that, I do not mean go shoot people because you disagree with them, like the imbecile this weekend did and like some politicians seem to advocate. This is an immature, inappropriate, and wholly unproductive response, even to people that have ridiculous points of view. No, I mean putting your money where your mouth is, so to speak. If you believe in something and have the time to write about your beliefs, you have time to put them in action. I think the smallest actions make the biggest difference. If I could profoundly affect the outcome for a single person by my actions, I would choose that anyday over making some large statement that wouldn't really impact any one person in a meaningful way.
I'm not saying I am not guilty of what I am complaining about. We all are, to some degree. What I'm advocating is getting of our collective asses and doing something for someone else that will truly change their life. There are innumerable ways to support a cause or set of beliefs in a very concrete way. Mentor a child, clean up at a park, volunteer to serve meals to the homeless...the possibilities are really endless when you think about it.
I'm sick of rhetoric. It's pointless, and it doesn't benefit anyone except the egos of the self-serving people that spew it, in my opinion. I think, if all you want to do is complain but do nothing to change the situation, you need to shut the fuck up (pardon my French).
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Standing up
I rarely bother to make New Year's resolutions because I view them as the sort of thing most people disregard after a few weeks at most. Instead, I have a identified a couple of goals that I believe are important to advancing my mental health this year (and into the future). As such, they are less the sort of things that typically qualify as resolutions and more as changes to my approach to life. I have two goals for change in my life that I have so far identified, which I think are just good rules for living in general.
1) Stand up for what you believe in. I think a lot of the time, I tend to avoid confrontation, and this leads me to keep my mouth shut when I encounter people that I believe are "talking shit". I sometimes even avoid or leave a discussion because I don't want to upset someone by disagreeing with them or I worry that they will dislike me if we disagree. I have recently realized that this approach causes me to compromise my personal integrity by not standing up for what I believe in. This doesn't mean not respecting the beliefs of others, unless of course they are belligerent about said beliefs. I most often avoid confrontation withing my own family, but no more. I will not stand by as young minds are molded (or warped) by views I strongly disagree with. I will no longer allow racist and/or homophobic remarks go unchallenged because it's 'just not worth arguing'. I believe it's always worth standing up for what you believe in.
2) Put your money where your mouth is. I think that if you are strongly against the attitudes or beliefs of an organization or business but continue to patronize or support that business, you are supporting those beliefs or attitudes indirectly. As an example, if I disagree with the politics of a company, I cannot in good faith patronize that business without compromising my own principles. One particular example I can think of is a business that I believe is exclusionary of a group of people because of how it views that group (which is inaccurate, by the way). I don't support that exclusionary attitude and think it's misguided, so I cannot support that business without supporting that attitude.
I think these two goals basically translate to the following: be yourself. When this is the case, you don't worry about what others think of you, because you know you are being true to yourself. It doesn't mean everyone that knows you will agree with you, but at least they know where you stand. It is any given person's choice whether or not to accept you for who you are, but it is your choice how you present yourself to others. I choose to present myself honestly and openly, even as my opinions and beliefs evolve over time.
I know this will be difficult for me at times, as it goes against my nature in many ways. However, in the end, it's worth pissing a few people off if it means I can look at myself in the mirror and not be ashamed.
1) Stand up for what you believe in. I think a lot of the time, I tend to avoid confrontation, and this leads me to keep my mouth shut when I encounter people that I believe are "talking shit". I sometimes even avoid or leave a discussion because I don't want to upset someone by disagreeing with them or I worry that they will dislike me if we disagree. I have recently realized that this approach causes me to compromise my personal integrity by not standing up for what I believe in. This doesn't mean not respecting the beliefs of others, unless of course they are belligerent about said beliefs. I most often avoid confrontation withing my own family, but no more. I will not stand by as young minds are molded (or warped) by views I strongly disagree with. I will no longer allow racist and/or homophobic remarks go unchallenged because it's 'just not worth arguing'. I believe it's always worth standing up for what you believe in.
2) Put your money where your mouth is. I think that if you are strongly against the attitudes or beliefs of an organization or business but continue to patronize or support that business, you are supporting those beliefs or attitudes indirectly. As an example, if I disagree with the politics of a company, I cannot in good faith patronize that business without compromising my own principles. One particular example I can think of is a business that I believe is exclusionary of a group of people because of how it views that group (which is inaccurate, by the way). I don't support that exclusionary attitude and think it's misguided, so I cannot support that business without supporting that attitude.
I think these two goals basically translate to the following: be yourself. When this is the case, you don't worry about what others think of you, because you know you are being true to yourself. It doesn't mean everyone that knows you will agree with you, but at least they know where you stand. It is any given person's choice whether or not to accept you for who you are, but it is your choice how you present yourself to others. I choose to present myself honestly and openly, even as my opinions and beliefs evolve over time.
I know this will be difficult for me at times, as it goes against my nature in many ways. However, in the end, it's worth pissing a few people off if it means I can look at myself in the mirror and not be ashamed.
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