This time of year, I usually look back on the previous year or two and think about watershed moments. Sometimes this involves a falling out with someone that includes burned bridges. Usually, I can actually appreciate that I am better off without them after some time has passed. Although even seeing mention of these people can still sting, I realize that I am happier because they are no longer around to crush my self-esteem over and over. This makes me appreciate the event or behavior that caused the falling out.
So here's my question: how can I thank someone for treating me so poorly without being facetious? I imagine some of my attempts.
"Thanks for being such a dick when I was struggling with depression...it was just what I needed to realize that I didn't need you around."
"I can't thank you enough for being so bitchy that one time when I needed a friend rather than a critic. It made me rethink the people that I wanted to surround myself with."
"I really appreciate that you were so awful to me, because it gave me the courage I needed to walk away from you for good, instead of feeling like I had to keep giving you more chances."
Okay, so none of these would probably go over as hoped. They all sound pretty bitchy, in fact, but I am truly thankful when someone finally lets me take a step I might otherwise feel too guilty (over giving up on someone) to take. Maybe I don't need to thank them. Perhaps they are thankful for the separation as well, and wondering how to express that themselves.
Indeed, you don't need to thank *them*. But you should probably thank yourself... for doing what you probably knew you should have done for some time. That straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back moment was not something they knowingly gave you; rather, your realization and the strength that welled up within you to do what you needed to do is what deserves the thanks. So give yourself a hug, quietly breathe a "thank you" to yourself under your breath, smile and continue forward in the world.
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